thoughts on the changing year

thoughts on the changing year

I could wish that I’d had a chance to reflect on the previous Kemetic year during the Epagomenal Days, but alas and alack, I did not. So I’ll do it now.

The previous year, Heru-sa-Aset’s year, was spiritually not great for me. I did very very little in terms of shrine time, research, community fellowship, service, etc. I managed to keep saying my daily prayers, and that’s about it. I thought of my gods, and usually felt self-created pangs of guilt that I wasn’t doing almost anything for Them.

The year was similarly creatively fallow. I didn’t even participate in NaNoWriMo because I was traveling too much of the month. I don’t think I made any jewelry, probably didn’t do any paintings, and didn’t write any songs (I think). I managed some pen sketches and doodles that made me happy, but beyond that? Nada.

Secularly, though, it’s an entirely different story. Last year, I found a psychiatrist and started the very long road of figuring out the right meds to treat my debilitating depression. I changed and mended a very close relationship, and I started another new relationship, which also had a change-and-mend stage later in the year. I left a dysfunctional job and started working at the most accommodating, genuinely kind workplace I’ve ever experienced. I retired my beloved decade-old car and got a new baby who could take me on long roadtrips again. A local friend and I rescued 40+ snakes and rehomed all but 3 successfully. (I also got … significantly more snakes for my own household.)

It wasn’t all roses: we lost two of our cats, the youngest to cancer and the oldest to age. My self-care necessitated dropping basically all of my projects and sorely limited the time I could dedicate to other people, so many of my friends didn’t hear much from me. My health continued to suffer from depression and other crap, even with meds starting to help. And, of course, world news and social justice issues just exploded.

All in all, the year was turbulent but produced some really important and positive changes to my personal life.

Now I leave behind Heru-sa-Aset’s influence and welcome the child god energies of Khonsu and Yinepu. This year, I want to get some of my own light back. I want to get the meds optimized, so I’m not always so tired and so flat. I want to re-engage with my beloved Kemetic community, and I want to have the capacity to re-engage a little more with my local secular community, too. I want to pick up the pen and write more stories and more songs. I want to step back into shrine and keep the dust off my gods.

The oracle talked about love, about service, about doing the work and keeping an open heart. Nebt-het talked to me about service, too: service to Ma’at and my community. (And balance between service and self-care, because that too is ma’at.)

So that’s what I’m looking forward to. Gently and gradually picking up things I had to drop last year. Respecting the limitations of my current health, while not letting myself sink into total stillness. Reaching out and helping where I can, without breaking myself in the process.

It’ll be a good year. Kheperu. Dua Netjer!